Uta Doki! Top 15

Uta Doki!, the TV show mostly featuring H!P artists singing (mostly) classic songs from the 60's through the 90's. This show is finally drawing to a close since airing its first episode on October 2, 2006 and I feel that now as it's mostly done (the remaining 10 episodes will not feature anything new) it's time for what I like best: mindless ranking, baby. While I am looking forward to seeing what Berikyuu! has to offer, I don't think it's going to top the awesomeness of Uta Doki. As I have watched all episodes so far, this show introduced me to many classics of Japanese music that I'd never heard before, and even a few artists I decided to check out further. But most importantly, it was filled with fun and memorable performances.

So hey, if you never got into watching Uta Doki!, here's the perfect chance to check out all the best ones. Expect something much more laidback from me than usual because Uta Doki was all about fun and so I won't do this too seriously either.

Starting with a top 3 of honorary mentions:

 

3rd: 116 2007-03-21 Sayumi Michishige, Erika Miyoshi & Yui Okada - Jaa ne (originally by Onyanko Club): I greatly prefer this over the original by Onyanko Club for it has more clarity. Very cute performance! It's not very often that I actually like the sound of Sayu's voice. :) [watch here]
2nd: 059 2006-12-21 Melon Kinenbi - Wedding Bell (originally by Sugar): Good stuff here, somewhat odd song and solid vocals. Check it out. [watch here]
1st: 094 2007-02-19 Mai Satoda - TRAIN-TRAIN (originally by The Blue Hearts): Too bad this couldn't make the top 15. Mai is in top form here and really gets into it! [watch here]

(Geez, the last few lines look like a rainbow)

And then the actual top 15:

 

15th: 039 2006-11-23 Ai Takahashi (with Taisei) - CHA-CHA-CHA (originally by Ishii Akemi)

Taisei: "Baby, get on my Cadillac", Takitty: "Oh no, I wanna dance my CHA-CHA". I believe a greater conversation has never been had in the history of mankind, lyrical or otherwise.

Let's face it, Taisei is fucking awesome. Anything with Taisei in it will instantly make it much better and this one is no exception. Pure 80's, cheesy goodness and a catchy song that sung by Takitty will be stuck in your head for ages. "I wanna dance, do you like CHA-CHA-CHA / A virgin kibun CHA-CHA". This will not be the last of Taisei in this list; in fact, he has the most appearances in all of these, along with one other girl.

 

14th: 336 2008-01-31 Rika Ishikawa - Minato no Yoko Yokohama Yokosuka (originally by Down Town Boogie Woogie Band)

Say what you will of Rika, but there is no one in H!P that does the spoken parts in songs quite as well as she does. Shabondama and The Peace!, anyone? And so this song is a perfect fit for Rika since it is mainly just speaking, and Rika does it very well. This one should definitely be watched instead of listened to as in this one, Rika has this surprisingly menacing look with a piercing, mean gaze, all while grinning evilly. She sometimes looks like a devious wolf about to eat you and your family alive. I really liked this one surprisingly much!

 

13th: 073 2007-01-19 Yuko Nakazawa & Kaori Iida - Makenaide (originally by ZARD)

Ah, now this is a treat. Yuko and Kaori doing the ZARD classic, Makenaide. Such a great song and I think Yuko and Kaori were the perfect girls to do it too, they sound great here, especially Yuko. I've nothing more to add; it's Makenaide!
 

12th: 358 2008-03-03 Risa Niigaki - Love Letter (originally by Kawai Naoko)

The most recent Uta Doki featured on this list. I didn't think anything this recent would make it, but hey.

I'm very happy Risa managed to have her own featured week on Uta Doki before it ended, and I think this is the best one from the week. Very catchy and Risa looks irresistibly cute even if her hair looks like a dead animal, and she sounds absolutely lovely. I like the fun hand movements during the chorus (or pre-chorus is it?)

 

11th: 104 2007-03-05 Natsumi Abe & Tsunku - Tsugunai no Hibi (originally by Zaitsu Kazuo (Tulip) with Hara Midori)

Let's get one thing right out of the way which is essential for anyone reading my blog to know: I love Tsunku's voice. So much so that I'd have sex with it if it was possible. Yes, you didn't just misread, I said have sex with his sweet, sweet voice. I'm not sure what the hell I even mean by that. Perhaps if it was possible for it to somehow be born again as a human being. Hmm. And hey, the man himself looks pretty sexy, too. I would again stress that I'm very straight indeed but what's the use, not like any of you would believe me at this point. And I can't don't blame you for that!

But my point is that I love his voice and how it is sort of semi-raspy at times. Sounds great to my ears and it's great listening to his Beatles cover album and other stuff too. Also, you people who are always complaining about Tsunku "ruining" everything by throwing in his vocals, pfft. Sure, the stuff he puts on there can sometimes be cheesy, annoying or even downright frightening, but it belongs in there as much as anything does! I wouldn't have it any other way. Sing on H!P's songs to your heart's content, Tsunku-man! Imagine if there was a superhero called Tsunkuman. I don't know what his special skill would be, but I do know he would beat the shit out of Superman, Spiderman and Batman any day of the week.

Anyway, this is a pretty notable performance because it features what is to my knowledge one of only three existing duets between Tsunku and H!P members. There's this one, another Uta Doki duet with Yuko and then one recorded one with Takitty. I don't think there's any more, but correct me if I'm wrong. It's a lovely ballad nevertheless and especially Tsunku's vocals are very memorable for me; they feel very heartfelt.

Oh, now I thought of one! The ability to shoot sexy beams out of his nipples! How's that? That's the obvious one though, not very original I guess...

 

10th: 355 2008-02-27 Yuko Nakazawa - Momen no Handkerchief (originally by Ohta Hiromi)

While I do love Yuko, first and foremost this is here because I love the song so much. It's ridiculously good and catchy. Not to say Yuko's performance of it isn't good though. Such a nice melody and the lyrics are quite touching in a way. Yuki (Maeda) did this on Uta Doki too, but I preferred Yuko's version.

I'm gonna go way off-topic here for a bit. Now, while I don't often talk much about the looks of these girls, I'm going to right now: FINALLY the person in charge of Yuko's hair at least TRIED to do the right thing by making hers completely straight... but it's not enough. I hate how they try to have Yuko "look her age". No, fuck that! She's now.. what, pushing 35 or so? I don't care, she still has her looks and you know what I think needs to be done? Cut it short again. It needs to be short, because that is the ultimate Nakazawa hair style. Short, and preferably blonde. But at least short. And that's saying a lot coming from someone who usually thinks hair should never be cut. But yeah, let's face it; Nakazawa has never looked better than with short hair like in these pictures (particularly the first two pictures show that are in my opinion the nicest looks Yuko has ever had):

 

Be honest with me here. Is there anyone here who prefers her silly, grandma-ish curly long hair look with the first two pictures, or even any of these? Yeah, she needs to look like the mean, angsty bitch she is, and you just can't pull that off with the whole huge/curly/long/flowy look. Or, hey, even worse, how about this look:

 

I never want to see anything like that done to my Yuko again.

She doesn't need to look beautiful, she needs to look sexy! Really, Nakazawa being sexier with long hair is about as likely as Ayappe being sexier with short hair (blasphemy!) or Kei being sexy... ever. In any situation.

Because hey, I'll be honest here; Yuko is the ultimate Hello! Project MILF. No doubt about it. Well, except for the whole mother part... poor Yuko. :(

 

9th: 101 2007-02-28 Yuki Maeda - Miserarete (originally by Judy Ongg)

Absolutely love this performance. This song at first might sound perhaps a bit cheesy, but it turns out to be a seriously eerie and beautiful song. If you're completely new to Yuki and the sort of vocal prowess you can expect from her, do yourself a favor and check this video out right now. What a performance. The first time I saw this, I literally had chills running down my spine. No lie. She is able to put so much emotion into her vocals it's amazing, and she does so seemingly effortlessly. It's quite nice visually too, that thing she does with her arms during the crazy chorus. Recommended viewing!

 

8th: 053 2006-12-13 Mari Yaguchi & Country Musume - Koi no Dial 6700 (originally by Finger 5)

Cute and awesome. So awesome. Mari is cuter than ever, and what a rocking vocal performance by all 4 of these girls, but especially Marippe shines here! Just listen to those "WOW!"'s she does. It's a wonderfully energetic and uptempo song, not to be missed.

 

7th: 120 2007-03-27 Nozomi Tsuji - Harusakikobeni (originally by Yano Akiko)

Another one from the Secret Festa Uta Doki concert Morning Musume did, following Jaa ne. I guess this is a song/performance you either love or hate. I'm personally in the former bunch. Nono was the perfect choice for this song as her voice has that cute quality that is very much needed in this song, but yet it still requires skill to sing well. Let's just say I would not have wanted to hear Sayu sing this one... Anyway, it's an extremely cute song. Go listen to it.

 

6th: 115 2007-03-20 Ai Takahashi - Sotsugyou Shashin (originally by Arai Yumi)

Had to include one more from Secret Festa. This is very unlike anything on this list. It's a slow, somehow fragile sounding perfomance, but yet it evolves to a beautiful and very memorable chorus. Above all, though, it's just damn awesome. A very relaxing and at the same time beautiful listen and Takitty does a flawless vocal performance on this, I might add. Things like this remind me why Takitty truly deserves leadership in the current incarnation of Momusu.

 

5th: 096 2007-02-21 Maki Goto - Marionette (originally by BOØWY)

"Holy shit!" is what I thought when I first saw this performance. I never was a huge fan of Maki, and it was mainly because I always thought she was an extremely overrated and poor vocalist. I thought she was a combination of the very weak singer she was in the early days and the perhaps even weaker current "sexy" version. I'm still not the biggest fan of hers, but at least now I don't have any misconceptions about her singing talent, and it was this performance which urged me to check out her solo material further and so it is largely to thank for that.

The theme for this week in Uta Doki was "rock", and man, rock like hell is exactly what Maki does. She instantly shattered my beliefs of her being a weak, quiet vocalist with this song. She absolutely owns this song, and I'm not exaggerating when I say she might be doing an even better job with this than than Kyosuke from Boowy himself when he sang it. I like how she often looks to be laughing during breaks in singing; I like to think it's because she's thinking to herself "oh shit, I am absolutely slaying people with my awesomeness.. ah, time to go again. *clears throat* KAGAMI NO NAKA NO MARIONETTE!.."

I'm not kidding here. If you also think Maki is not as good as everyone says, watch this video and it might help change your opinion of her. She's absolutely on fire in this one. Sexy as hell, too, if you don't mind me saying, much more so than if she was doing the usual, being scantily clad and just rubbing her boobs for no apparent reason. Not that I really mind that side of her either. Mostly I just like boobs in general. A lot... Rather addictive, those things.

 

4th: 178 2007-06-18 Mari Yaguchi (with Taisei) - Jenny wa Gokigen Naname (originally by Juicy Fruits)

What the hell is WRONG with Taisei?! Jesus. I think the man seriously needs some help, medical or otherwise. This could be the cutest Mari Yaguchi performance in existence. Yeah, you heard me. She is so, so cute. And what's better is that Taisei is matching her cuteness in pure insanity. Also one of Taisei's best "performances" for sure. Please do not miss this one, if just for seeing Taisei being absolutely hilarious and out of his mind. I think he might've been on some most likely illegal substance in this one. I just love watching his antics. I also enjoy Marippe's little imitation of him. Good stuff, good stuff. This one has always been one of my favorites.

 

3rd: 330 2008-01-23 Hitomi Yoshizawa & Ayumi Shibata - Hatsukoi (originally by Murashita Kouzou)

Again another one that is here basically because the song is so awesome. Luckily it was performed by two very talented vocalists so they don't ruin it either. While I'm a huge Yossie fan, I have to admit it might've been Ayumi who did an even better job here as far as vocals go. She sounds absolutely wonderful, but Yossie isn't far behind either. In any case, the couple sound nice together and that's what matters. It's also nice seeing Ayaka swaying in the back to the song and mouthing the lyrics. Any others out there who liked this one?

 

2nd: 070 2007-01-16 Mari Yaguchi & Kei Yasuda - Genki wo Dashite (originally by Takeuchi Mariya)

I didn't think this would make it quite this high on the list, but the more I listened to it, the more I realized that I've no excuse to NOT place it this high. It's a pretty little ballad being sung by the extremely efficient pairing of Kei and Mari, their compatibility proven by the fact that they often get to sing together in dinner shows and other little fan club events. It has a very calming effect on you and both girls sound very nice and soothing. I don't really have anything else to say about this one, but please watch the video because I think this one is quite underappreciated.

 

1st: 022 2006-10-31 Ayaka (with Taisei) - Monkey Magic (originally by Godiego)

"With a little bit of monkey magic everything will be all right."

Come on, you had to know this was going to win as soon as you saw the title of this post. There is just no way this could not win, not in a million years. I do not believe anything as great as this could be created again within the same show. I believe this is something like the universally recognized standard of measuring awesome.

Also, Ayaka is incredibly sexy. In a weird, kind of goofy way. Gotta love her!

Even if all the rest of the over 370+ episodes of Uta Doki had been a complete waste of my time, it would've all been worth it just for this song.

I basically made this post just so I could say how awesome I think this performance is.

This performance is fucking awesome.

So there we go. The purpose of this post has been served. I'm done.

 

I'd really like to see someone else rank their Uta Doki favorites as well. Someone else do it too! It'll be interesting to see these last few Uta Dokis where the viewers voted their favorites, to see if the Japanese agree with me on any of these songs.

Now if you don't mind, I've got a shitload of Miike Takashi movies to watch. Ah, twisted plots, black humor, extreme perversion and most importantly absolutely mindless violence, a lovely combination indeed!
Expect a small break from new posts to this blog unless I get super productive for some reason. I'm going to be quite busy the rest of the month and I think I'll only have time for the Roundtable feature over at Ray's American Wota. Next time I should be back to my ranking madness...