(Top 5 menstruation instrumentation in H!P songs, my second new post within 24 hours. I had a total of two in the whole month of May. Crazy stuff, I tell you.)
In my constant uphill battle to prove to you guys (and myself) that I'm "just in it for the music", it's time to totally forget about the girls themselves and their vocals, get to the core of things and concentrate on what really matters: the actual instrumentation as well as arrangement of the songs, baby.
5th: Tanpopo - Seinaru Kane ga Hibiku Yoru (Iida/Ishiguro/Yaguchi version): Seinaru Kane ga Hibiku Yoru was the fourth and last single released by the original 1st gen Tanpopo. While I don't think the surprisingly tame, Christmas-themed A-side is anywhere near as good as their first three singles, it's the B-side I really enjoy. Actually, there's three B-sides, it's the same song but sung by different girls. I like the Ishiguro version best; Yaguchi alone can be a bit grating on the ears if you know what I mean, and Iida's is... well, a bit boring. Ishiguro's version is just right. But anyway, that's just the vocals and this is supposed to be about the instrumental.
Now, while I called the A-side tame and boring, they made significant changes to this version. Gone are the drums, excessive synths, bass... well, basically everything is stripped away and there's only piano and some gentle orchestral instruments left. Orchestral versions of H!P songs can be boring; the "Grand Symphonic Version" of the song Tanpopo found on All of Tanpopo sounded a cheap and like they were forcing it into something it definitely wasn't (excessively beautiful). Still, I guess that song too is fun to have for the fact
that it's the only song to feature all of 1st and 2nd gen Tanpopo... though Ishiguro had already left at that point in time, they most likely just took her vocals from an existing recording. Kind of like how the three remaining Beatles got together in 1995 and worked on some John Lennon demos, Free as a Bird and Real Love. Except Ayappe wasn't and still hasn't been murdered. Uh, anyway, getting sidetracked here...
As I was saying, this version is completely different and while I can see why they decided to make the A-side into the one they all sing on, I can't help but feel a little bit bitter as I do consider this version better by a mile. I could listen to one specific part of it forever if I had to, one part that sounds mindblowingly good if in the right mindset. I'm talking about this:
To be honest, I just live for unexpected moments like that in music. I know it sounds surprisingly unexciting when you dissect it like that, but it's all about the context, so listen to the full song, damn you. Something about that descending chord progression that really fuckin' pleases my ears. I just wish they would've expanded on that, though. Make it into a 10 minute jam with only that particular segment. Bring in LOUD church organs, a massive wall of distorted guitars and a choir consisting of 80 males. Ones with large testicles. Not that there exist any male choir members with testicles. Oh, and some taiko drums to really knock your teeth out, and then just repeat it for 10 minutes straight. Mmm, now that would've been sweet. Should've had that as the fourth B-side track. "Seinaru Kane ga Hibiku Yoru (Large Testicles Jam Version)".
4th: Morning Musume - Renai Revolution 21: Renai Revolution 21, one of the DANCE☆MAN arranged classics of the Golden Era Musume. I probably need not describe this song to you in much detail, you've all heard this a million times already. In any case, while time and the repeated listenings might've taken out some of the initial enjoyment from the song, I feel you can not deny the awesomeness of the backing track
even after all this time. Organs, synths, wahwah guitar, piano, extremely funky basslines, and you can't forget the DJ turntable scratching noise either.
Always with the goddamn DJ scratching noises...
3rd: Tanpopo - Otome Pasta ni Kandou: First of all, I have to say I love the sound of this song and I think the person to thank for that is one Mr. Rui Nagai. He was an arranger for Hello! Project for a very brief time but he accomplished four Tanpopo songs that definitely all have that distinct sound of his; Otome Pasta ni Kandou, Oujisama to Yuki no Yoru, I & YOU & I & YOU & I and, to a lesser extent, BE HAPPY Koi no Yajirobee. Out of these four, I think Otome Pasta ni Kandou is the best one. You might not immediately realize the greatness of the arrangement, but try listening to the instrumental version of this song. There's constantly stuff going on and hell, it's awesome. A hard-hitting beat, that sweet screaming 60's/70's lead guitar sound, backing vocals reminiscent a little of The Beatles and last but certainly not least, a shitload of harpsichord to keep me happy. Quite like the mellotron I always rave about, I love the harpsichord, man, and any song that employs it is nearly an instant winner to me.
2nd: Berryz Koubou - VERY BEAUTY: My love for this song, with or without vocals, remains undying. I believe I'll keep preaching on about its awesomeness for a long time to come.
When you remove the admittedly awesome vocal lines, you are left with a simple but very effective and even beautiful backing track. Calling it "minimalist" might be going a bit too far, but there are no special tricks employed here: you won't find much more here than drums that do little more than keep the beat steady, lots of soothing electric guitar, what sounds a little like an upright piano, a deep but mellow bassline and it's all drenched in lots of synth violin. It's a beautiful composition and there's a simple, very basic set of instruments indeed, but it's all used in a way that doesn't leave anything to be desired. Like they say, less is more, and this song is definitely a fine example of just that. One of the most beautiful Hello! Project arrangements.
1st: Morning Musume - Shabondama: If you ask me, this one doesn't even need any vocals. A complete opposite of VERY BEAUTY as to why it made this list, this is just filled to the brim with... well, everything! That said, though, of course the vocals only make this even better. But yeah, stuff is constantly happening in this song and you simply aren't given a chance to take a breather at any point during the song. It aggressively throws the
listener around with the crazy bass, intricate string arrangements, wailing electric guitar and all kinds of bleeps and bloops in the form of different synth sounds. This song grabs a hold of you and doesn't let you go, entertaining you for the whole length of the song. Amazing. Less is more, yes, that's often true, but sometimes it's also good to go all out and kick some asses of us unsuspecting listeners, you know?
And kicking ass, my dear readers, is something Tsunku does well.
I've now reached the halfway point of these rankings. Eight done, seven more to go and after that, one final ranking to decide the winner of this whole thing.
Next time I'll do the opposite of this one; I'll judge the top five vocal performances.
(Don't ask me why but this post looks like shit in both my Firefox and Opera. If it does so for you too, try IE if you don't mind using that piece of shit software)
Guitar solos. You gotta love 'em. I've nothing more to add, let's go.
Lots of noteworthy runner-ups this time that were awesome but just not awesome enough to quite make the top 5:
(note that the mp3's here only include the solo parts)
Michiyo Heike - GET: I like how even the very first song that came out of Hello! Project features an excellent guitar solo. Oh and yeah, it's actually played by Hatake from Sharan Q so bonus points for that!
Morning Musume - Memory Seishun no Hikari: Acoustic solo goodness, a rarity in H!P music.
°C-ute - Massara Blue Jeans: Bass guitar solos count too! Bass solos are another rarity in H!P, not to mention ones that put to use the slapping technique. Awesome!
Berryz Koubou - Munasawagi Scarlet: Groovy.
Morning Musume - Kanashimi Twilight: Awesome, if a little generic.
5th: Yuko Nakazawa - Urara: Why hello there, David Gilmour! How the hell did Tsunku manage to hire YOU play a solo here?! I mean, bring the tempo down a little, raise the volume on the guitar some and it's like the solo of Comfortably Numb all over again... almost.
Well alright, maybe it's not quite Gilmour-level, but it is very tasteful, no frills, subdued and simple. It's just right. A perfect, classic rock sounding solo.
4th: Tanpopo - Oujisama to Yuki no Yoru: A nice, tasty little solo. I might be going crazy but I think when you look past all the little technical stuff in there, it's possible to hear a little George Harrison influence in the playing... maybe it's just me though.
My only complaint is that I think it's not quite ballsy enough, a rather common gripe I have with Hello! Project guitar solos. They shouldn't be afraid to just raise the volume a little and really give the guitar a gnarly distortion to destroy our ear drums once in a while. Nevertheless, a very fitting little solo, this one is.
3rd: Buono! - Janakya Mottainai!: "HOLY SHIT!" was my reaction when I first heard this. Caught in a shred!
Blistering is the word I'd use to describe this guitar solo that actually sounds like two guitarists dueling. Nearly mindblowing shredding going on here and this time there's no problem with the guitars not being gnarly enough or whatever like in my previous choice, they're just right.
While I do love it, stuff like this just depresses me immensely, being the hopeless guitarist I am...
2nd: Michiyo Heike - Dakedo Aishisugite: Bitchin'. That's all I have to say about it really. Bitchin'. I feel I have to use a swear word to properly express my love for this solo: it sounds fucking sweet. Real fucking sweet. Very, very tasteful, long notes, shitload of string bending... you can just imagine that whoever played this song on the record had a constant guitar solo face going on when doing it. You know exactly what face I'm talking about. The blissful, ecstatic face where it looks like the guitar player is actually having the most intense and fantastic but also the most painful orgasm of his or her entire life thus far. I'll let a few people demonstrate.
1st: Morning Musume - Ambitious! Yashinteki de Ii Jan: "HOLY FUCKING.. OH JESUS! OH GOD WHAT THE HELL!" was the initial reaction to this one (as opposed to the "HOLY SHIT!" when hearing Janakya Mottainai... there's a clear difference!). "Am I listening to Morning Musume or Dream Theater here?" is probably what fans of both Dream Theater and Morning Musume like me have asked themselves when listening to this song... it's really becoming increasingly hard to tell.
Well, one can say or think many things about the musical wankery of Dream Theater, but the fact of the matter is that if one successfully manages to mix something like this into a J-pop song and make it work, then wow... pure genius, I say. Both technically proficient and quite inventive also, this solo is great and no doubt the winner of this ranking. Often times Tsunku has played around a little with nice guitar licks here and there, but for once he went all the way with this and just said to his guitarist; "Dude, give me all you've got, let 'er rip and shred for me like a motherfucker! Just give me the craziest possible shit you're capable of playing!" The result is something just absurdly over-the-top, yet incredibly nice sounding. This one nearly made it to the epic ranking JUST for this solo part, it's that good.
I'll continue with this theme next time when I'll try to rank the top five judging by instrumentation only. Fun!